The Loneliness of Depression

moon flight

I don’t enjoy writing about depression. My insecurities rise to the surface as my innumerable failings are put on display. I worry that people will read my words and judge me. That I will be seen as weak. Or whiny. Or pathetic. In my mind, I am already giving myself a severe beat down, so sharing my tales to invite more opposing boxers to the ring feels like a seriously foolish idea. No one else could possibly understand the crazy sentiments racing through my mind. No one else could possibly relate.

But that’s entirely untrue. These kinds of feelings are rampant. Countless people face these struggles every single day, and too many of them lose the battle with anxiety and depression. They feel so isolated. Broken. Helpless. Hopeless. They put out the light before the sun has a chance to find its way through the darkness once more.

So even though I am embarrassed to share my struggles, I recognize that someone out there in this moment needs to know that they aren’t alone in theirs. That they aren’t the only ones feeling broken, destroyed, or terminally unworthy of love. That another person is in it, too, and that maybe there’s some chance that it can get better. That holding on is possible, and that sticking around is worth it.

It does get better. It doesn’t stay dark and heavy forever. And you aren’t alone in it.

You are absolutely worthy of love. You are not broken. You can make it through this.

If someone doesn’t get what you are going through, they are luckier than they know. If they judge you for being imperfect, well… definitely don’t sweat that because no one is. And if you feel like you are alone, drop me a line. But whatever you do, please don’t give up.

It won’t stay dark forever, you are stronger than you can imagine, and despite the way you may feel, you are never ever alone.

Big hugs to you.  Jo

***Thanks so much to Nancy Merrill for her clever weekly photo challenge prompt of from below.

13 thoughts on “The Loneliness of Depression

  1. Big hugs to you too Jo. I tagged you in my blog for a black and white photo challenge. I’m not sure if you do that sort of thing, but I thought of you. You have been such a good friend to me. This was a great post by the way. Please keep up the great work and share…it’s more important than you know.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. C Mullins

    As always, I am moved by your words and relate to the feelings- light and dark- that flitter from your head to your fingers then landing on my screen (I realize its really in the cloud somewhere but not quite the visual I was after). Love you xo-C

    Like

  3. Pingback: 7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Four | Authentically 50 ~ Embracing Life's Changes

  4. I am still struggling with my anxiety and depression since my big meltdown in November. I am seeing a therapist weekly, I am staying away from people and things that take me to that dark side and I am taking prescribed meds that help me focus and get my job done without blowing up on anyone the second after I have clocked in. Ever since I’ve said the words, I have anxiety and depression out loud, it seemed like a weight was lifted. Some days are better than others and others I’m like a newborn with their days and nights mixed up, I nap during the day and stay awake all night. I’m trying to keep busy and get out of that place where my mind tends to wonder and take me to a not so happy place. But I am proud to say that I am 2 classes away from having my Master’s and looking for my next project to keep me occupied. Thank you Jo for being so open and honest about what is going on in your life and helping all of us through this difficult time in our lives!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well hello darling bad ass! Look at what you have achieved! Seriously – THAT’S AWESOME!!! You are keeping going (huge win), you almost have your masters degree (woot woot!!! no one can take it once you’ve got it!), and you aren’t hiding your truth anymore (please reference aforementioned bad ass status). If that’s not kicking butt and taking names, I don’t what is. 😉 I’m so incredibly proud of you. How lucky am I to have such a cool friend like you?? (Answer – super lucky!) 😉 Big big hugs and even bigger high fives. Keep rocking the world darling. You are amazing. 🙂 Jo

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jo, thank you so much. I recently lost two friends who felt they could not overcome the darkness, and it pains me and all who knew and love them that they felt such hopelessness and helplessness. While those left behind in these situations go through all the stages of grief (including anger and blame), the outcome is a sense of loss and resignation of living without them. I heard someone say once that you don’t get over loss, you learn to live with it. Everyone deals with depression to some degree. I am fortunate to not have clinical depression, but I do not judge those who do. It is real. It is scary. But there are always people who love the sufferers and want to help in any way they can. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing. And thank you for joining the challenge.

    Like

    1. Oh Nancy. My heart is so sad for you. People get lost and totally confused. The darkness feels like it will never end in the moment and it feels completely true. It’s the worst lie and the mind sells it hook, line and sinker. You can only see reality after the clouds have cleared. It’s surreal how deceiving it is. I’m truly so very sorry for your losses. You are kind to be able to empathize after such tragedies. You definitely get big heart hugs from mine. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s